Okay, so it seems every time i start blogging again, it has to begin with a relationship haha. So this guy i have been texting non stop....who i thought was just a friend, apparently is madly in love with me. I have now been single for two years, i do not know or remember how to handle this stuff. I was upset and nervous when i first found out he was going to ask me out, but my brother talked to him on facebook and he told him "i really like this girl, she is the sweetest girl in the world and the cutest, i just don't know how to tell her." As soon as i saw that, i stopped freaking out. I think this could be the start of somthing good =)
Pengrace
Monday, November 2, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
A fresh start
I have not posted in over two years now. I figured it' time I pick this back up. A lot has happened over the last two years, a lot is happening now. I have started college, i am having surgery in January and another of my friends has died. He was hit by a car riding his bike. = ( This post will officially be the beggining of a long line of posts from me.
-Pengrace
-Pengrace
Saturday, December 22, 2007
xmas is almost here
Christmas is almost here, only 2 days to go. I dont feel very festive though. Its been a really awfull year and soon it will be over. Im almost worse than i used to be, i dont think about killing myself but i do think about dieing alot, no way in particular, just different ways someone can die, and if i would mind if i did, who i would miss, stuff like that. It scares me sometimes. I know that i would not do somthing drastic or stupid, but i hate thinking these thoughts, i hate knowing that if i were to dissapear it would not bother me one bit, it would probably be a relief from failing people from screwing up and ruining every thing. Well thats all i wanted to say. Goodnight.
Pengrace
Pengrace
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
September 15 2007
BrokenJames broke up with me on Monday......yesterday was supposed to be our 3 month anniversary. Im sooooo upset, i only just started eating again...and i just....wow i dont know what to say about it. I was sad and then angry and then fine and then really pissed and then sad again...now i dont feel anything. We agreed to be friends....this should be interesting. His reasoning is soo retarded.
July 29 2007- Tired annoyed and unhappy
This weekend has been really really long, the "R- family" came up and we went sea-doing on the sound and stuff. My dad spent the weekend in the hospital becuase his blood pressure got really high, but he is home now and my mom is being a pain in the ass. Im soooo tired, i sprained my wrist and i have not seen james in ages becuase he went to boyscout camp.......*sigh*
July 19 2007
4 words worth waiting for
Yesterday James came over we played Sims 2 and cuddled on the floor in the living room. We watched disney channel lol corey in the house, hannah montana, and Suite life. I have no clue y lol . Well while sitting on the floor he started kissing me ( and i think its important to mention that this was infront of my little brother mind) Jordan did not notice for like 4 min, but in those four minuits James pulled back and looked at me, then he said the four words that are always worth waiting for "I love you." I could not believe it! I was OMFG!!! YAY and then i said that i love him to, and i do. He is so great, i mean the other night was our one month anniv. and i went to his house and we kissed in his pool and talked. Then he came back to my house and we cuddled on the couch to watch HP #1 becuase we were both going to see Harry Potter 5 in theaters on Sunday. I fell asleep in his arms and he held me tight and i woke up and he was smiling at me. Later he asked this in a conversation:
Jpokerking (12:20:22 AM): miss ya beautiful <3
Just2cuite(12:20:32 AM): miss you too <3 cant wait to see you
Jpokerking (12:20:35 AM): is it kk if i call ya that all the time?
Jpokerking(12:20:43 AM): i kinda like it
Just2cuite(12:20:46 AM): its perfectly fine lol
Jpokerking (12:20:48 AM): i can't wait either
Jpokerking (12:20:52 AM): awesome
Jpokerking (12:20:56 AM): beautiful
Just2cuite (12:21:10 AM): awesome lol <3 goodnight, sweet dreams
Jpokerking (12:21:15 AM): u 2
Jpokerking (12:21:17 AM): and i mean it
Just2cuite (12:21:25 AM): i had good dreams last night
Just2cuite (12:21:27 AM): *S*
Just2cuite (12:21:36 AM): so mabe i will tonight
Jpokerking (12:21:39 AM): what'd u dream about?
Just2cuite(12:22:11 AM): i dont really remember....but for once it was not scary or sad, i woke up smileing
Just2cuite (12:22:18 AM): i dont usually remember my good dreams
Jpokerking (12:22:21 AM): awesome
Just2cuite (12:22:22 AM): just that they were good
Just2cuite(12:22:29 AM): its was awesome
Jpokerking (12:22:31 AM): what'd u dream about while u were in my arms
Just2cuite(12:22:45 AM): feeling safe and happy
Jpokerking (12:22:56 AM): what happened in the dream
Jpokerking (12:23:08 AM): and u should always feel safe in my arms
Jpokerking (12:23:19 AM): nothing can happen to u there
Just2cuite(12:23:45 AM): i was dreaming about lieing in your arms oddly enough, and i felt more safe then i have felt in a really long time
Jpokerking(12:24:03 AM): awesome
Just2cuite(12:24:18 AM): and ill dream about the same thing tonight if i can, becuase thats my favorite dream now
Jpokerking (12:24:30 AM): awesome
Jpokerking (12:24:55 AM): i'd come over right now so we could do the same thing but it can't be helped
Just2cuite (12:25:06 AM): no sadly it cant
Jpokerking(12:25:09 AM): i'll promise u though we'll do it again in the near future though
Just2cuite(12:25:23 AM): cant wait, ill just have to imagine till them
Just2cuite(12:25:25 AM): * then
Jpokerking (12:25:40 AM): awesome
Just2cuite (12:26:14 AM): if you dont mind me asking before you go, what were you thinking while i was asleep in ur arms?
Just2cuite(12:26:44 AM): u dont have to answer, if you dont want to btw
Just2cuite(12:26:47 AM): just so you know
Jpokerking (12:26:58 AM): well
Jpokerking (12:27:07 AM): i felt like i could protect anyone
Jpokerking (12:27:14 AM): but u were the only one that mattered then
Jpokerking (12:27:42 AM): and i felt comforted at the same time that u could fall asleep in my arms twice in the same night
Just2cuite(12:28:03 AM): haha lol though i tried not to, i was just so tired and so happy
Just2cuite(12:28:10 AM): and comfertable
Just2cuite(12:28:14 AM): and safe
Just2cuite (12:28:19 AM): i sorta could not help it
Jpokerking(12:28:33 AM): that's great to hear
It was SOOOO COOL!!!!!!! and then this is yesterday after he told me he loved me for the first time.
JpokerkingX52 (5:54:39 PM): i love ya beautiful
Just2cuite4u (5:54:44 PM): I love you too
Im so happy. I feel safe and like i belong for the first time. Its just really......nice.
Yesterday James came over we played Sims 2 and cuddled on the floor in the living room. We watched disney channel lol corey in the house, hannah montana, and Suite life. I have no clue y lol . Well while sitting on the floor he started kissing me ( and i think its important to mention that this was infront of my little brother mind) Jordan did not notice for like 4 min, but in those four minuits James pulled back and looked at me, then he said the four words that are always worth waiting for "I love you." I could not believe it! I was OMFG!!! YAY and then i said that i love him to, and i do. He is so great, i mean the other night was our one month anniv. and i went to his house and we kissed in his pool and talked. Then he came back to my house and we cuddled on the couch to watch HP #1 becuase we were both going to see Harry Potter 5 in theaters on Sunday. I fell asleep in his arms and he held me tight and i woke up and he was smiling at me. Later he asked this in a conversation:
Jpokerking (12:20:22 AM): miss ya beautiful <3
Just2cuite(12:20:32 AM): miss you too <3 cant wait to see you
Jpokerking (12:20:35 AM): is it kk if i call ya that all the time?
Jpokerking(12:20:43 AM): i kinda like it
Just2cuite(12:20:46 AM): its perfectly fine lol
Jpokerking (12:20:48 AM): i can't wait either
Jpokerking (12:20:52 AM): awesome
Jpokerking (12:20:56 AM): beautiful
Just2cuite (12:21:10 AM): awesome lol <3 goodnight, sweet dreams
Jpokerking (12:21:15 AM): u 2
Jpokerking (12:21:17 AM): and i mean it
Just2cuite (12:21:25 AM): i had good dreams last night
Just2cuite (12:21:27 AM): *S*
Just2cuite (12:21:36 AM): so mabe i will tonight
Jpokerking (12:21:39 AM): what'd u dream about?
Just2cuite(12:22:11 AM): i dont really remember....but for once it was not scary or sad, i woke up smileing
Just2cuite (12:22:18 AM): i dont usually remember my good dreams
Jpokerking (12:22:21 AM): awesome
Just2cuite (12:22:22 AM): just that they were good
Just2cuite(12:22:29 AM): its was awesome
Jpokerking (12:22:31 AM): what'd u dream about while u were in my arms
Just2cuite(12:22:45 AM): feeling safe and happy
Jpokerking (12:22:56 AM): what happened in the dream
Jpokerking (12:23:08 AM): and u should always feel safe in my arms
Jpokerking (12:23:19 AM): nothing can happen to u there
Just2cuite(12:23:45 AM): i was dreaming about lieing in your arms oddly enough, and i felt more safe then i have felt in a really long time
Jpokerking(12:24:03 AM): awesome
Just2cuite(12:24:18 AM): and ill dream about the same thing tonight if i can, becuase thats my favorite dream now
Jpokerking (12:24:30 AM): awesome
Jpokerking (12:24:55 AM): i'd come over right now so we could do the same thing but it can't be helped
Just2cuite (12:25:06 AM): no sadly it cant
Jpokerking(12:25:09 AM): i'll promise u though we'll do it again in the near future though
Just2cuite(12:25:23 AM): cant wait, ill just have to imagine till them
Just2cuite(12:25:25 AM): * then
Jpokerking (12:25:40 AM): awesome
Just2cuite (12:26:14 AM): if you dont mind me asking before you go, what were you thinking while i was asleep in ur arms?
Just2cuite(12:26:44 AM): u dont have to answer, if you dont want to btw
Just2cuite(12:26:47 AM): just so you know
Jpokerking (12:26:58 AM): well
Jpokerking (12:27:07 AM): i felt like i could protect anyone
Jpokerking (12:27:14 AM): but u were the only one that mattered then
Jpokerking (12:27:42 AM): and i felt comforted at the same time that u could fall asleep in my arms twice in the same night
Just2cuite(12:28:03 AM): haha lol though i tried not to, i was just so tired and so happy
Just2cuite(12:28:10 AM): and comfertable
Just2cuite(12:28:14 AM): and safe
Just2cuite (12:28:19 AM): i sorta could not help it
Jpokerking(12:28:33 AM): that's great to hear
It was SOOOO COOL!!!!!!! and then this is yesterday after he told me he loved me for the first time.
JpokerkingX52 (5:54:39 PM): i love ya beautiful
Just2cuite4u (5:54:44 PM): I love you too
Im so happy. I feel safe and like i belong for the first time. Its just really......nice.
June 18 2007
Yay-ness
Catchup post for the events of
6-13-07 and 6-14-07
Thursday was the fund raiser for Chorus at Mcdonalds. James tachnically asked me out the night before lol but then he said that that did not count and that he would ask me out the next time he saw me. So we gave him a ride to the McDonalds thing, i sang and kate sang and then just as we were about to leave he sias "Wait......do you want to go out with me?" and I was like YES! lol
well Im REALLY HAPPY
here was the convo
Just2cuite4u (5:18:52 PM): neway...so what else would you like to know
JpokerkingX52 (5:19:02 PM): hmmmmmm
JpokerkingX52 (5:19:43 PM): do u want to hang out friday night
JpokerkingX52 (5:19:47 PM): just the two of us
Just2cuite4u (5:20:06 PM): i would love to....i just have to make sure i dont have plans
JpokerkingX52 (5:20:13 PM): me too actually
JpokerkingX52 (5:20:17 PM): i kinda did that on a whim
Just2cuite4u (5:20:32 PM): its ok lol what did you have in mind? if we can
JpokerkingX52 (5:20:50 PM): a date at friendly's maybe
Just2cuite4u (5:20:56 PM): sounds fun*S*
JpokerkingX52 (5:21:04 PM): just lately i've been feeling
JpokerkingX52 (5:21:08 PM): u know?
Just2cuite4u (5:21:59 PM): yea
Just2cuite4u (5:22:03 PM): i think lol
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:14 PM): I really like u
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:15 PM): like
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:17 PM): like u like
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:18 PM): u
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:32 PM): god i know that sounds so immature
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:40 PM): and i know that i shouldn't as u out of the computer
Just2cuite4u (5:22:41 PM): i really like you too....but u already knew that
Just2cuite4u (5:22:49 PM): lol nah its ok
JpokerkingX52 (5:23:03 PM): just so u know i didn't as u because i knew u liked me
JpokerkingX52 (5:23:09 PM): i just couldn't not
Just2cuite4u (5:23:21 PM): src="aolbart:/1024/id/2B00000259/3A2D44" unselectable="on">i know
JpokerkingX52 (5:23:27 PM): :d
JpokerkingX52 (5:23:28 PM): src="aolbart:/1024/id/0201E05FCA/3A2D44" unselectable="on">
Just2cuite4u (5:23:45 PM): well ill talk to my mom about our schedual friday, and let you know,
JpokerkingX52 (5:23:52 PM): so now that i've started
JpokerkingX52 (5:24:01 PM): wait
JpokerkingX52 (5:24:10 PM): i don't want to do this over the computer
JpokerkingX52 (5:24:20 PM): I'll as u next time i see u
Just2cuite4u (5:24:27 PM): oh ok lol
Just2cuite4u (5:24:35 PM): well you will be there tommarow night mabe?
JpokerkingX52 (5:24:43 PM): yea
Just2cuite4u (5:24:49 PM): me too probably
JpokerkingX52 (5:24:49 PM): in the afternoon
JpokerkingX52 (5:25:00 PM): i've got a test
Just2cuite4u (5:25:08 PM): yeah
Just2cuite4u (5:25:24 PM): so mabe ill see you at the thing tommarow night....if we ever find out what time it is lol
JpokerkingX52 (5:25:35 PM): oh yea
JpokerkingX52 (5:25:39 PM): i'll be there
Just2cuite4u (5:26:03 PM): ok, i think i will be lol
Just2cuite4u (5:26:10 PM): if my mom does not have to work
JpokerkingX52 (5:26:23 PM): all right
JpokerkingX52 (5:26:37 PM): i really appreciate u being able to share all that stuff with me
JpokerkingX52 (5:26:46 PM): i know it must have been hardJust2cuite4u (5:27:18 PM): its nice to be able to have some one to listen....and hear. It was easier becuase i knew that you would listen
Catchup post for the events of
6-13-07 and 6-14-07
Thursday was the fund raiser for Chorus at Mcdonalds. James tachnically asked me out the night before lol but then he said that that did not count and that he would ask me out the next time he saw me. So we gave him a ride to the McDonalds thing, i sang and kate sang and then just as we were about to leave he sias "Wait......do you want to go out with me?" and I was like YES! lol
well Im REALLY HAPPY
here was the convo
Just2cuite4u (5:18:52 PM): neway...so what else would you like to know
JpokerkingX52 (5:19:02 PM): hmmmmmm
JpokerkingX52 (5:19:43 PM): do u want to hang out friday night
JpokerkingX52 (5:19:47 PM): just the two of us
Just2cuite4u (5:20:06 PM): i would love to....i just have to make sure i dont have plans
JpokerkingX52 (5:20:13 PM): me too actually
JpokerkingX52 (5:20:17 PM): i kinda did that on a whim
Just2cuite4u (5:20:32 PM): its ok lol what did you have in mind? if we can
JpokerkingX52 (5:20:50 PM): a date at friendly's maybe
Just2cuite4u (5:20:56 PM): sounds fun*S*
JpokerkingX52 (5:21:04 PM): just lately i've been feeling
JpokerkingX52 (5:21:08 PM): u know?
Just2cuite4u (5:21:59 PM): yea
Just2cuite4u (5:22:03 PM): i think lol
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:14 PM): I really like u
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:15 PM): like
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:17 PM): like u like
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:18 PM): u
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:32 PM): god i know that sounds so immature
JpokerkingX52 (5:22:40 PM): and i know that i shouldn't as u out of the computer
Just2cuite4u (5:22:41 PM): i really like you too....but u already knew that
Just2cuite4u (5:22:49 PM): lol nah its ok
JpokerkingX52 (5:23:03 PM): just so u know i didn't as u because i knew u liked me
JpokerkingX52 (5:23:09 PM): i just couldn't not
Just2cuite4u (5:23:21 PM): src="aolbart:/1024/id/2B00000259/3A2D44" unselectable="on">i know
JpokerkingX52 (5:23:27 PM): :d
JpokerkingX52 (5:23:28 PM): src="aolbart:/1024/id/0201E05FCA/3A2D44" unselectable="on">
Just2cuite4u (5:23:45 PM): well ill talk to my mom about our schedual friday, and let you know,
JpokerkingX52 (5:23:52 PM): so now that i've started
JpokerkingX52 (5:24:01 PM): wait
JpokerkingX52 (5:24:10 PM): i don't want to do this over the computer
JpokerkingX52 (5:24:20 PM): I'll as u next time i see u
Just2cuite4u (5:24:27 PM): oh ok lol
Just2cuite4u (5:24:35 PM): well you will be there tommarow night mabe?
JpokerkingX52 (5:24:43 PM): yea
Just2cuite4u (5:24:49 PM): me too probably
JpokerkingX52 (5:24:49 PM): in the afternoon
JpokerkingX52 (5:25:00 PM): i've got a test
Just2cuite4u (5:25:08 PM): yeah
Just2cuite4u (5:25:24 PM): so mabe ill see you at the thing tommarow night....if we ever find out what time it is lol
JpokerkingX52 (5:25:35 PM): oh yea
JpokerkingX52 (5:25:39 PM): i'll be there
Just2cuite4u (5:26:03 PM): ok, i think i will be lol
Just2cuite4u (5:26:10 PM): if my mom does not have to work
JpokerkingX52 (5:26:23 PM): all right
JpokerkingX52 (5:26:37 PM): i really appreciate u being able to share all that stuff with me
JpokerkingX52 (5:26:46 PM): i know it must have been hardJust2cuite4u (5:27:18 PM): its nice to be able to have some one to listen....and hear. It was easier becuase i knew that you would listen
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)